Letting Go of What's Not in My Control
If you haven't heard, we are moving soon...in less than two weeks to be exact. It'll be our fifth move in seven years and although I signed up for this adventure in the Navy when I said, "I do", I didn't quite realize how hard it was going to be with kids. The emotional labor of moving is tough for adults, but toss in two kids and a dog, and it becomes even more heavy.
Will they like their new school?
Will will have good neighbors?
Will Joe be home at a decent hour every night?
I've been thinking through just about everything and getting more and more sad as our time here comes to an end. It's this "stuff" that eats at me, and it's this "stuff" that is beyond my control that used to make me so angry and resentful, and when left unchecked would eventually turn into rage.
BUT, then I learned about self-awareness, acceptance, and mindfulness.
To some people, these words don't mean much, but for me, they have been a gift that has taken me beyond survival mode and my angry mom days, to contentment, peace, and openness.
There is so much within our control, but we get caught up in "wishing" and hoping" things were different. We focus on what's not in our control and we let our emotions lead to thoughts and behaviors that don't serve us.
Over time, that course of action becomes our default...a habit, and it's time to break it!
In the journal, there are 31 days of "dailies" where you can sort through these thoughts that so often weigh us down. There is a thought download section where you can literally have a brain dump and then from there, we get to move forward and organize what we are feeling inside.
In one column there will be things inside of our control, and in the other, things outside of our control. When we see our thoughts in black and white, we are able to notice those things that we can't control so that we don't waste time and energy on them.
I AM moving. That is beyond my control. So in my journal for today, I am going to focus on my reality and accepting what's to come.
I can control how I'm thinking about the move.
I can control my ability to open my heart up to new experiences and my ability to serve new women and moms that I will meet.
I can also control my attitude around the move when my kids are around so that they see me modeling what adapting looks like, that change can be a good experience full of potential and excitement.
It's OK to be sad, but rather than allowing my thoughts to focus on what we are leaving behind, I am making the conscious effort to focus on what lies ahead.
Changing those thoughts is a muscle we have to build. Just like exercise, a healthy mindset is something that takes just as much work and dedication. Commit to honoring your health in a mind, body, and soul kind of way. Our soul is at the center of everything we do and life just becomes a little easier, our breaths a little deeper, when we take the time to invest in our mental wellness.
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