Intensive Mothering

There seems to be this thing happening these last few years called, “intensive mothering”. 

It’s the moms who only feed their kids organic homemade meals, throw elaborate Pinterest perfect birthday parties, use cloth diapers, co-sleep, enroll their kiddos in extracurricular activities, and take them to the museums on the weekends to enhance their cultural knowledge of the world. 

In addition, there’s no TV, homeschool during the week, and classical music on at all times to enhance brain development. 

While they do all this for their children, they themselves are in better shape than a high school athlete, and are perfectly dressed in the seasons hottest trends that not so coincidentally match their kiddos so that they are always ready for a photo op that will be displayed on their meticulously curated social media feeds. 

It’s not a wrong way to mother, it’s just not my way and my way is not wrong either. It took me a while to understand that. Both are great and both methods (or even a method some where in between) will raise smart, content, and wonderful children. The problem came when I tried to be someone I’m not. The problem came when I thought that my way was wrong.

I tried to be hands on for a really long time. I tried to be “that Mom". The one crafting and cooking and running with her BOB stroller, and home schooling, and all the stuff, but it quickly turned me into an angry mom.

I got angry because I wasn’t allowing myself the space to be the kind of mom that worked for me. I got angry because I was trying to be someone else’s definition of great. 

A great mom is a loving mom. The rest is all just details. 

It took me two years to be able to stand in my integrity and just be me. 

If “intensive parenting” doesn’t work for you or if some works but the other stuff doesn’t, then take what feels good and leave the rest.

WiseInside - Heather Criswell is helping me give language to this in so many aspects of my life and I’m just so grateful for her.

“Do what feels good. Follow that.” 

Some of the greatest advice I’ve ever heard 💕


Julie Kimock